Pearl Nash
You were both head-over-heels in love. In fact, once upon a time you believed they’re the one.
That’s why, when you broke up, you were certain that you could never move on.
Lately, however, it seems like the impossible has happened—you’re actually okay without them!
Want to know if you’re 100% over your ex?
Here are 12 signs you’ve finally healed from a broken heart.
1) You start referring to them as your ex
Calling them your “ex” does not feel awkward anymore.
The word just flows out of your lips as easily as the air you breathe.
But it was not always this way. In fact, you had a hard time calling them your “ex” back when your breakup was still fresh in your mind.
That you feel comfortable calling them your “ex” now means that you’ve come to terms with your breakup and that you’ve finally healed.
2) You cringe when you think of your time together
It’s perfectly normal for people to remember the moments they shared with their exes.
You used to turn into a mess every time you recalled your time together. You’d cry, scream into the void, and spend hours wishing you could have done things differently.
But now… well, you’re fine with them. In fact, they kinda make you cringe.
You might recall the times when you wrote long, winded love letters, and instead of wishing for the good old days, you shiver and ask yourself “Did I actually write all of that?”
This means that any rose-tinted glasses you might have been wearing have fallen off at last and that you’ve actually moved on.
3) You no longer have “what ifs”
You used to spend a lot of time thinking of the past and blaming yourself for the break-up.
You would think things like “What if I earned more? Then they would still want me”, or “What if I spent more time with them?”
But now you simply can’t be bothered to entertain those thoughts!
You’ve learned that thinking of the past is just going to be a waste of time and energy.
And you don’t have “what if” daydreams either.
You don’t go around thinking “What if we meet again?” or “What if they want me back?”. The idea doesn’t interest you anymore.
You’re sooo DONE with them…and healed.
4) You rarely think or talk about them
When the breakup was still fresh in your mind, your ex was all you could ever think and talk about.
If they really meant that much to you, you might have continued ranting about them years after your breakup.
It was almost like a compulsion, and even your friends might have started calling you insufferable or obsessed.
These days, however, they rarely even cross your mind.
Their name no longer makes you feel anything—not even hate or longing or disgust. It’s just another name to you now.
And if you ever talk about them now, it’s not because you want to talk about them, really. It’s just that they happen to be involved in whatever you want to talk about.
5) Sad songs and sad movies don’t make you cry anymore
Sad movies always make you cry. Or at least, they used to when your heart was still bleeding.
Back then, when you saw tragic romance on the big screen or heard love songs on the radio, it felt like the universe itself was making a direct attack on you.
You don’t feel the same way now, though.
You no longer bawl at the cinema saying “That’s so me!” because yes, you no longer can relate.
And when your radio starts playing sad love songs, you don’t feel a compulsion to switch stations… not anymore, at least. You can even happily sing along.
Your wounds have since healed, and no amount of prodding will make your heart bleed again.
6) You no longer hate them
One of the bigger signs that you’ve healed from the breakup is that you no longer hate your ex.
Well, assuming your ex was not an abusive person of course (it’s perfectly normal to continue hating an abuser long after your heart has healed).
But let’s assume that your ex was at worst a flawed person. They have hurt you, but never with any real intent to harm you.
At some point, your anger will die out. That’s just how it goes.
You will finally accept that they were simply human, and the two of you were just not meant to be.
And at this point of the healing journey, many people actually open themselves up to mending bridges with their exes. Many become good friends, even.
7) Your memories have become bittersweet
It’s no longer just sweet or just bitter.
You had good times together, and maybe one of the reasons why it was so hard for you to move on was because, objectively, they were a good person.
You really wanted things to work out between the two of you and you hated that you were simply incompatible.
Some of the most painful breakups are the ones where nobody did anything wrong.
But now you’ve come to accept the reality of your situation.
You’re glad that it happened and you recall your time together fondly, but at the same time feel no desire to recreate the past.
8) You can laugh at how silly you acted during the break up
Even the classiest people you know are bound to slip up during a break-up, especially if that break-up was particularly messy.
And the way you acted immediately after the breakup was anything but classy.
Perhaps you bombarded your ex with hundreds of calls each night until they eventually blocked your phone.
Perhaps you stalked them so hard on social media and even messaged some of their friends for sympathy.
Maybe you even pissed your friends off by always dumping your emotional baggage on them.
It’s been a while since then, and now you can’t help but find the way you acted… amusing!
In fact, you quite enjoy poking fun at the person you used to be, and that’s because you’re completely healed.
9) You can finally see why you’re really not meant to be
Whether you’re the one who got dumped or are the one who did the dumping, the breakup did a number on you.
“If we tried harder, could it have worked out?” was a question that used to keep you awake back then.
But now you understand why it didn’t work out, and likely wouldn’t still work out even if you tried getting back together again.
And it’s not like they’re evil, or you’re evil.
The two of you just aren’t the right kind of person for one another. And now you see how the break-up was actually a big blessing.
10) You have no desire to prove them anything
Breakups that people can just shrug off are— in the grand scheme of things— quite rare.
Most breakups unfortunately result in at least one person suffering from a thoroughly pulverized ego on top of losing the person they love.
It’s natural that many people believe that if they keep showing their ex their best self, they’ll eventually beg to take them back.
You likely had gone through such a phase for a while, no matter how brief.
But now you find the concept quite silly—you still want to become a better person, but for YOUR own sake.
You don’t need to prove anything because you understand your own worth.
11) You can now genuinely wish them happiness
As big as the world may be, it can sometimes be surprisingly small.
Even if you’ve been trying to avoid your ex, you might still encounter them every so often.
Back in the day, you might have wished them harm, saying things like “I hope they’ll never find true love!” or “I hope they go bankrupt!”
But now, you find it silly that you even thought such things.
Finally, you can find it in you to genuinely wish them well— that they’ll find someone who can genuinely make them happy and that they’ll achieve all their dreams.
12) You’re now looking forward to the future
And it’s not a future with them in it!
That’s because your world no longer revolves around your ex.
Your world has been growing larger as you find more things worth living for—you still have your dreams, your friends, your family, your pets, yourself.
The future is uncertain, but that’s exactly why you look forward to it!
Will you find a new partner?
Will you find a fulfilling life as a single person?
Maybe there’s more waiting for you that’s beyond what you can now comprehend!
Final thoughts
It takes a long time for a broken heart to heal, and just because you’ve had your heart broken once (or thrice) doesn’t mean you’re immune to future heartbreak.
So don’t beat yourself up if you feel like you should have gotten over your ex from three years ago, or that you’re hurting even if it’s already been your 4th breakup.
Remember to keep an open mind too. If your ex was an objectively good friend, there’s no reason why you can’t be friends again when you’ve healed.
Ultimately, remember to be kind to yourself and to your exes (as hard as that might seem when emotions are high). No one is really evil. We’re all just humans who are very imperfect and always evolving.
