Kiran Athar
In a perfect world, we would all live without judgment, fully embracing the differences that make each and every one of us unique.
However, in reality, human beings often silently judge others, even if they don’t realize they’re doing it.
As it turns out, simple aspects of your behavior and appearance can create lasting impressions on people around you.
Here are 9 things people could be silently judging you for:
1) Your appearance
As a society, we’re becoming more accepting of the different ways people choose to express themselves.
But, that doesn’t mean everyone has become totally open-minded. Many people will still judge you, no matter how crazy, conservative, funky, or boring your style is.
Luckily, very few will actually verbalize what they’re thinking, but silently they’re looking and making snap decisions about what type of person you are.
Unfortunately, the old saying still goes strong:
“You never get a second chance to make a first impression.”
2) Your manners
And after your appearance comes manners.
Picture this; you’re minding your own business in a restaurant, happily munching away.
What you don’t realize is that most of the people at tables around you will be picking up on your manners – did you thank the waitress?
Are you eating with your mouth open?
Are you staring at your phone while your friend sits there looking bored?
I have to admit, even I’ve judged people on this one!
And the same goes for when you’re at work, on the bus, pretty much everywhere.
Manners are a way to tell others how we behave socially, and whether we treat others with respect or not.
3) Your listening skills
When you’re listening to someone, they’re picking up on your body language.
So, if you’re the type who:
- Avoids looking people in the eye
- Is easily distracted
- Struggles to concentrate and keep up with the conversation
For sure others will be silently judging! Even if you don’t do the above on purpose, you could come across as uninterested or even slightly self-centered.
On the other hand, if you’re an active listener who gives people your full attention and asks thoughtful follow-up questions, you can bet that people pick up on that too.
4) Your hygiene habits
Bad breath, uncombed hair, and stained clothes are all hygiene habits that people will silently judge you for.
They might not realize that you do in fact brush your teeth, you just ate garlic for lunch.
Or that the stain in your favorite sweater is stubborn and refuses to come out, no matter how much you wash it.
So, why do people do it?
From a biological instinct, we look at how clean others are to see how healthy they are.
But from a social aspect, we do it to measure how much self-respect a person has.
The scruffier they are, the less we think they care about their hygiene and cleanliness.
On the other end of the spectrum, when we see someone well-groomed who smells clean and fresh, we assume they take pride in looking after themselves.
5) Your social media activity
In today’s world, we’re all watching what everyone else does through social media.
But not just watching – judging.
I know I’m guilty of doing this. I have a friend from school on Facebook (yes, I’m old school) who shares every detail of her life. The good, the bad, the downright ugly.
I used to see her rants and think, jeez, get a grip woman. But as time has gone on, I’ve realized that perhaps she’s struggling with her mental health.
This was a wake-up call for me to be more open-minded.
But yes, in general, people will judge you for posting too much. For your selfies. On your comments and reactions.
And don’t get me started on controversial posts!
6) Your lifestyle choices
I had a friend who would drink far too much at parties. Everyone would discuss it the next day, but weirdly, no one bought it up to their face.
It was almost like an unspoken rule – we can judge, we’ve just got to do it discreetly.
And the same goes for smoking or eating too much fast food. Any “bad” habits for that matter.
I’ve often wondered why no one says what they’re thinking, but after a trip with another good friend who smoked like a chimney, I understood why:
No one wants to cause conflict.
You could be truly worried about a friend’s bad habits but if you think they’ll cut you out for saying so, you’ll probably stick to silently judging. It’s a sad truth about life.
7) Your financial habits
Now, another thing people around you are silently judging you for are your financial habits, i.e:
- How much you tip in a restaurant
- Overspending every time you go shopping
- Being too frugal and counting every penny
- Flaunting your wealth
- Borrowing money frequently from friends or family
Here’s the thing, financial habits give us an insight into someone’s values and priorities.
It’s also a good indication of how organized a person is – are they living paycheck to paycheck because they can’t budget?
Personally, I think with the current cost of living crisis we could all be a bit kinder to each other when it comes to finances.
But that won’t stop everyone from silently judging – it’s something some believe we’re hardwired to do.
8) Your parenting techniques
But if money wasn’t already a touchy subject, let’s talk about parenting!
As a childfree person I can’t quite relate to the struggle, but I do know that when a parent is screaming blue murder at their child in the cereal aisle, my first thought usually isn’t a positive one.
But that’s the thing – we’ve all got different views on the “correct” way to discipline.
And while most of us can appreciate that a screaming child on an eight-hour flight is probably stressing the parents more than anything, you can bet there’ll still be a few people onboard silently (or not) judging.
9) How loud you are
And finally, if you’re the type to conduct all your phone calls on loudspeaker, blast music from your car or scream with laughter in public places, it shouldn’t surprise you that people will be taking note.
But I will say, this does depend on where you live!
Where I come from (the UK), you’ll certainly be glared at. On the other hand, since moving to a Mediterranean country, I’ve noticed that people are much more accepting and society as a whole is slightly louder.
So, there we have it, 9 things that people are silently judging you for. Unless you’re a completely non-judgemental person, you can probably relate to a lot of the points listed above.
After all, most of us are guilty of making snap judgments without knowing the full story behind why someone does the things they do!
But perhaps we could all learn to be a bit kinder and less judgy. Wouldn’t the world be a more tolerant place?
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