Paul Brian
Do most people think highly of you?
It might seem like an odd question, or even one you haven’t thought about much before. This is especially true if you tend to be more modest and low-key.
But there are actually a number of signs that you’re very highly regarded and well liked by others even when they don’t say so out loud.
Looking for the following rare signs, you’ll be able to tell how people really feel about you even when it’s not verbalized.
Let’s dive in!
1) They want your advice
Do people come to you for advice?
It may seem like no big deal, but it’s a definite sign of real respect.
Nobody wants to get advice or insights from someone they don’t think highly of. That’s why this indicator is so reliable.
If people are seeking your advice or input, especially on complex or difficult matters, you can be 100% they look at you in a very warm light.
2) They tell you how they really feel
The next key indicator that you’re held in high regard is that folks feel comfortable opening up to you, even about the ugly truth.
There’s no sanitizing or just telling you what you want to hear.
They’re spilling their guts to you and telling you the truth, even about their own flaws or where they went wrong.
People don’t do this to somebody they consider a nobody. They do it to somebody they respect, somebody who’s validation and understanding they want.
3) They pipe down when you speak
What happens in a crowded situation when you really need to say something and start speaking?
For many of us the answer is generally that we get ignored, or that we speak loudly and people awkwardly talk in a lower voice or laugh a bit.
But when you’re very highly regarded, the answer is that people pipe down. Right away.
Clearly we’ve all seen this for people in positions of authority. For example I remember in boarding school when a teacher would start to speak in assembly and everyone would immediately shut up.
But when you’re not in a position of authority and people still respect you to be quiet when you start speaking, it’s an unmistakable sign their respect for you runs deep.
This also relates directly to the next point…
4) They let you offer your opinion without cutting in
Those who look up to you and regard you highly will allow you to give your opinion without cutting in.
Even if they disagree, they will let you finish your sentences.
This isn’t always common, especially for people who are very talkative or tend to interrupt a lot.
But when it’s directed your way, this kind of particular respect is very meaningful and specific.
It’s not for everyone, it’s for you.
Speaking of respect…
5) They value your time and energy
When you’re highly regarded by people, you will notice that they respect your time and energy.
Any efforts you make are greatly appreciated and you receive copious thanks.
You notice that people smile and light up when you walk in a room and that they have many other nonverbal signs of gratitude and respect for you as well.
These include:
- Strong eye contact and enthusiasm when you’re around;
- Curiosity about what you’re working on and involved in;
- Sensitivity to your schedule and time frame;
- Thank you gifts and presents when you help out.
6) They want you to take leadership under crisis
When the crap hits the fan, those who don’t want to lead have to choose a leader.
In some cases the leader will assert him or herself and take charge on the basis of competence:
For example a boat breaks down at sea and the only one onboard with engine repair experience steps up to try to repair whatever is wrong.
But in other cases, people will discuss who should lead them, for example during a funding crisis at a private school, or during a medical emergency when nobody is a qualified medical professional.
When you’re chosen, it’s a clear indicator that you’re highly regarded.
If you’re not chosen for skill and competencies, you’re chosen because your character and grace under pressure are seen as exemplary by those around you.
7) They cheer on your big (and small) victories
When people look up to you, they are happy for your wins.
They want to cheer on your victories and they share in your joy when you are happy.
Whether it’s at your work or in any other area of your life, you notice that folks are genuinely happy for your successes and want to share in them.
A reasonable question that might come to mind is: “why me?”
To be sure, this kind of solidarity doesn’t happen by accident, and it doesn’t happen for everyone.
It’s how folks act when they truly value and look up to someone, in this case you.
8) They offer you emotional support and empathy
When you’re going through a hard time, it can be difficult to know who to turn to.
It may be emotional, professional or romantic. It may be that you just feel down in general and want somebody to talk to as a friend.
If you notice that folks make time for you and open up their time and space to you, it’s usually an indicator that they think quite highly of you.
Most people have limited time and energy to support others.
If they use that limited time and energy for you it’s not by mistake, it’s by choice.
9) They understand and honor your personal boundaries
There’s no substitute for respect.
A key sign that you’re highly regarded is that your boundaries are respected.
People listen when you say no, and they give you the benefit of the doubt when you cancel something or have priorities come up that don’t involve them.
Your word is honored and people believe you. They also respect your red lines:
If you say you don’t want to be around cigarette smoke, they listen to that. If you ask a friend to turn down music in the vehicle while you’re driving, he or she does that.
You’re not seen as annoying or demanding, because you’re highly regarded.
10) They emulate and are inspired by things you have taught and recommended
It’s really true:
Imitation is the greatest form of flattery.
If you want to know with 100% certainty how you’re seen by someone, look at how much they take your advice and teachings to heart.
This can be in the small things, too, not just big dramatic life situations:
- Their music playlist starts having music you recommended…
- They begin adopting financial habits about saving more money that you shared from your own life experience…
- They start approaching their job differently and dealing with difficult coworkers more effectively thanks to advice you gave…
It’s all good stuff, and it’s all a clear and definite indicator that you’re very highly regarded, even if it’s not specifically put into words.
