Amy Reed
How does it feel to be in a state of inner peace?
Most of the time, you know when you don’t have it, rather than when you do.
When you don’t feel at peace with your life, you feel anxious, exhausted, or just a bit unhappy most of the time.
And the biggest reason why you feel that way is because you’re clinging onto habits you shouldn’t be clinging on to.
The things we do in our everyday lives can majorly disturb our inner peace. And the only way to find happiness again might be to let those habits loose.
Think you’re holding onto things that are disturbing your peace? If so, here are 9 things you might need to let go of.
1) Trying to be perfect
Striving for perfectionism all the time will never lead you to inner peace. Experts say that the relentless pursuit of flawlessness can lead to depression, anxiety, stress, and low self-worth.
Which, it’s safe to say, isn’t a good outcome.
Letting go of the need to be perfect is easier said than done. So let’s look at it a different way.
Ask yourself: what does it really mean to be perfect? There isn’t an exact answer, is there? That’s because the idea of being perfect is subjective.
Which means what we believe to be perfect is completely within our control. We could decide right now that our life is perfect. That our body is just right the way it is.
That the goals you have aren’t about making your life “perfect”. That they’re about making your already-perfect life that little bit better instead.
2) People pleasing
People pleasing is when you try to make everyone else happy – to the point where you sacrifice your own needs and wants for other people (all the time!).
The saying, “There’s someone for everyone” means there are people who aren’t going to be for you. Which puts a bit of a negative on the positive.
But ultimately, when you accept this fact, it’s easier to let go of the need to people-please.
You can’t please everyone. And you’re never going to be liked by every person. Nor are you going to make everyone else happy.
Trying to make everyone happy all the time is an impossible task. And all it’s going to do is drag you down and compromise your self-worth for everyone else’s.
Which, naturally, isn’t going to lead you to find much peace.
3) Relationships with toxic people
I hung on to a friendship for years that had turned toxic, but I didn’t want to see it for what it was. We’d been friends for so long that it was hard to let go.
But the relationship was just causing hurt, anger, and disappointment – continuously.
Just like a relationship with a toxic parent, sister, brother, or colleague can cause you more pain than good.
Continuing to maintain friendships with these people isn’t going to bring you peace. It’s just going to cause you pain each time you think, hang out, or talk to them.
Sure, it’s not easy or realistic to just cut out toxic people entirely. But setting better boundaries and minimizing your contact can be a good way to separate yourself from them. Plus find more peace in your daily life!
4) Romantic relationships that have run their course
Just like hanging onto toxic friendships and parents can disrupt your peace, so can clinging on to romantic relationships that have run their course.
Holding out hope that your ex will come back, or the situationship you had will reignite someday, isn’t a healthy way to live.
Sure, it might happen one day. But putting your life on hold, not dating, and refusing to move on isn’t going to bring you much joy in the meantime.
Letting go of people in your past, especially when you were the one who let them go, isn’t easy.
But staying attached to them (and the idea of them coming back) isn’t going to bring you inner peace. And it’s time to let go of these people and ideas if you want to find it.
5) The fear of rejection
Asking someone on a date and having them say no to your face. Asking the barista if you can use a coupon and them declining it. Applying for a job and not getting it.
These are all everyday examples of rejection. And while it feels bad to even think about those things happening to you, rejection is actually a very healthy thing to experience.
Experts say that rejection can make you stronger, teach you patience, and spark more internal motivation.
But living in fear of rejection isn’t quite as good for your self-development. It can make you feel lonely, disrupt your self-esteem, and disturb your inner peace.
Letting go of the fear of rejection is easier said than done, but it can make a huge difference in how you live your daily life.
Plus, the more you face it, the less hurtful it can become.
6) The need to be right
We all get it wrong sometimes. And being wrong creates space for us to learn – more than anything else in life does!
When you make mistakes or try something new (and fail), you can create new skills, develop more motivation, and find your true passion.
Plus, sometimes, needing to be right (and convince others that you’re right) isn’t going to work out well for your inner peace.
Everyone has different opinions and some people will never believe the things you believe in. Taking the high road and stepping back from an argument or debate can be the best way to find peace.
7) Holding grudges
When you get it wrong, make a mistake, or do something to hurt someone else, sometimes you need to apologize to the people around you.
Apologizing takes humility. It means admitting you were wrong or in the wrong for something you did or said. Which, let’s face it, isn’t that good of a feeling.
Even if you don’t think you were in the wrong, sometimes apologizing is the only way to move on.
Holding onto the grudge and refusing to forgive and/or apologize will cause you (and potentially the other person) more pain than it’s worth.
Like how refusing to apologize to your boyfriend or girlfriend after an argument isn’t going to lead you to a happy relationship. Just like refusing to forgive them for something small isn’t going to help you both move on.
Staying attached to these kinds of grudges isn’t going to feel peaceful. So it’s time to let go of these things if you want to feel more at ease.
8) Thinking “It’ll be better when…”
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s easy to think to yourself, “I’ll be happy when X happens” or “Our relationship will be better after X finishes”.
But will it really? Because ask yourself: What’s really stopping you from finding happiness with how life is right now?
Sure, there are times when something you’re looking forward to will genuinely bring you a lot of happiness. But if you want to find peace, you can’t constantly live your life waiting for other things to happen before you can be happy.
Because what happens when you get that new job – will you want something else before you can be happy? Or what happens when your boyfriend gets through this busy period – will something else get in the way of you being happy together?
Yes, it’s good to have goals. But putting your life on hold and refusing to be happy until those goals are reached isn’t the way to go about it.
And it won’t bring you peace!
Instead, you need to find contentment with how life is right now – and work towards things that’ll make it even better, rather than things that make it worth living.
9) Living in your comfort zone
Staying where you feel comfortable is, well, comfortable!
It’s nice knowing what you’re going to experience day in, day out. It removes the fear of rejection and the risk of failure.
But it can also lead you to never discover your true self.
If you stay working a job you’re unhappy doing for 10 years because you know what to expect, you might never find the career you’re truly passionate about.
Likewise, if you stay with your boyfriend because it’s comfortable, even though you know the love is gone, you’re never going to find true happiness.
But stepping out of your comfort zone gives you more opportunities to learn, grow, develop – and live an interesting life that’s true to what you want!
And sometimes you need to let go of your comfort zone to find what’s right for you.
Final thoughts
Letting go of the things you’re attached to isn’t always easy. It takes a ton of self-reflection and a whole lot of commitment.
But once you let go of these things, it can truly feel like a weight off your chest.
And all the work, dedication, and time spent removing these things from your life will be so worthwhile.
